Trigger Warning:
This post contains honest conversations around ADHD, mental health, physical symptoms, chronic stress, and burnout. Please read with care if you’re in a sensitive headspace today.
I spent most of my adult life thinking I was just “bad at life.” That constant nagging feeling that I wasn’t quite coping the way everyone else seemed to. Then I was diagnosed with ADHD at 30 years old, of course, and everything finally made sense. But what I wasn’t prepared for was learning how deeply a mainstream job (just working!) would break me in ways no one warns you about.
Most people think ADHD is about being hyper, forgetful, or bouncing off the walls. But ADHD is chronic stress, executive dysfunction, and constant masking. It’s pushing yourself until your body physically gives up. Because society isn’t built for brains like ours.
The ADHD Hustle: My Story of Work, Masking, and Meltdown
I’ve worked in hospitality and healthcare, and now I’m an infant feeding support worker, a job I love because I’m passionate about helping new parents. But this role is also the hardest I’ve ever had since being diagnosed, and honestly, it’s nearly broken me.
There’s something about the mix of responsibilities, driving (which I was new to), deadlines, and endless office noise that is like kryptonite for my ADHD brain. I hyper-focus hard on the things I love, infant feeding is my special interest, and I could talk about it for hours—but when the job demands constant shifting between tasks, managing time, and surviving a loud open-plan office? That’s where the cracks start showing.
I can support everyone around me by helping them tick off their tasks, but when it comes to my own, I freeze. I know what I need to do, but the second someone else’s conversation hits my ears or a new task is thrown at me, my brain hits a wall.
And the worst part? I mask it. Every. Single. Day. I smile, I people-please, I overcompensate because I’ve been taught my whole life that struggling means being lazy or weak.
The Hidden Cost: Physical Symptoms No One Talks About
What no one sees is the mental and physical breakdown happening behind the scenes. ADHDers are chronically stressed before they even start their workday—our baseline is already higher than most. Add in workplace pressure, and it’s a ticking time bomb.
I started noticing it when my vision blurred while driving to appointments. Then the migraines came—black-and-white checkered vision like a finish line flag waving at me, screaming “you’re done.”
Pins and needles in my hands and arms, dizziness while sitting down, blue lips, constant cold hands and feet. It wasn’t random, it was my body screaming from the inside out: you are burnt out!
And here’s the thing—ADHD is linked to physical health issues. Studies show we’re 2-3 times more likely to suffer from anxiety disorders, chronic stress, and sleep disturbances. We burn out faster because we’re masking harder, working twice as hard to meet expectations that weren’t designed for our brains.
But when you’re in it, you don’t see it. You tell yourself it’s normal. It’s just a rough week. You’ll push through. Until you can’t.
The Misunderstanding of ADHD (And Why It Matters)
Telling people you have ADHD is HARD. Some get it. Others hear “lazy” or “disorganised.” The worst are the ones who THINK they’re helping but brush off ADHD symptoms as just anxiety or a little depression.
And while, yes there is overlap, ADHD is its own beast. It’s not just being forgetful or anxious. It’s having your brain scream 50 thoughts at once while you’re trying to remember if you replied to that email. It’s knowing exactly what needs doing but feeling like there’s an invisible wall between you and starting the task.
The Medication Stigma (And Why It Needs to Stop)
I remember being scared to start ADHD meds. The stigma is real. But my psychologist said something that changed my view forever:
“A neurotypical brain is like a set of traffic lights—green when it needs to be, red when it’s time to stop. An ADHD brain? Ours is a guy standing there with a STOP/GO sign… but he’s asleep. The meds? They’re the coffee that wakes him up.”
That visual sticks with me because it’s TRUE. The meds aren’t a cheat code. They just let me function closer to how others do naturally. But that stigma? It’s heavy. And it needs to change.
Parenting, ADHD, and Trying to Do It All
Now add kids into the mix. School runs. Sickness bugs. A child struggling with their own mental health. Appointments dropped on you with no notice.
ADHD mums, WE ARE NOT OKAY!. We’re expected to hold down jobs that break us, while also being the safe place for our kids, the emotional regulators, the planners, the cooks, the everything.
I love what I do. But the guilt of missing something, of not being enough for work or home eats away at me daily! And I know I’m not alone.
What Would ACTUALLY Help? Real ADHD-Friendly Workplaces
Here’s what would change everything for ADHDers like me:
✅ Quiet pods or spaces to work without distractions
✅ Visual whiteboards and large duplicate screens
✅ Fidget-friendly chairs and sensory tools
✅ Managers trained in ADHD and neurodiversity
✅ Remote working options without the guilt
✅ Body-doubling or working in pairs
✅ Big, visible timers to keep track of tasks
We’re not asking for special treatment—we’re asking for a chance to work WITH our brains, not against them.
Helpful Resources:
– [ADDitude Magazine (ADHD tips & resources)](https://www.additudemag.com/)
– Facebook: ADHD Mums UK, ADHD Support Groups (search for local)
– NHS ADHD Resources (for UK readers)
To Every ADHD Mum Trying to Survive a Mainstream Job
PLEASE, give yourself some grace.
ADHD is not a made-up excuse. It’s not laziness. It’s not a lack of effort. It’s a brain difference and one that often means you’re more creative, passionate, and driven than anyone else in the room—if only you’re given the right space to thrive.
You are NOT failing. The system is failing YOU!
And just know… your ADHD besties: We find each other. We SEE each other. And We are rooting for you every damn day.
The Messy Mum Virtual Assistant 