Parenting with ADHD: When You Have the Diagnosis Too

Juggling motherhood, executive dysfunction, and the fight to be understood.

The Moment It Clicked

I didn’t always know I had ADHD. In fact, it hit me during lockdown, one of those random garden chats while socially distancing. A neighbour talked about her adult daughter being diagnosed. I had that common reaction: “Wait, but she’s not naughty or hyper?”

That’s when she told me ADHD in women looks different. At first, I brushed it off. A year later, at 3 am, I was spiralling over a uni assignment I couldn’t start. I found myself Googling “Why can’t I just get on with things?”

I landed on the ADHD UK website, and every word hit like a mirror. That was my Punk’d moment. This is you, Kaylie.

Looking Back with New Eyes

My first feeling? Relief. Some feel angry, and I completely get that too. But for me, it made sense of everything.

As a child, I was labelled “emotional,” “not academic,” “too sensitive.” Never anyone’s best friend, just the backup. But how could anyone truly know me when I didn’t even know myself?

ADHD helped me finally understand why I struggled, and why I’ve also been incredibly resilient. I’ve developed people skills, empathy, and the ability to adapt to any room. It’s been my hidden superpower, even before I knew it had a name.

ADHD in Early Motherhood

With my first baby, I thrived. There was a structure. A role. A clear identity. I had purpose, and it worked for a while. I felt like I had my life in order (though looking back 11 years, I’ve probably blocked the rough bits out!).

Then came baby number two, and the crash. Structure changed, and everything fell apart. I chalked it up to “one to two is hard,” but the truth was, my ADHD couldn’t cope with the shift. I felt like I was drowning, and I hid it well… from everyone but my husband.

ADHD in My Day-to-Day Parenting Now

I’ve recently had to leave a job I loved. ADHD, stress, and anxiety took a toll on my health. I was on medication for 3 years. I stopped to determine whether my symptoms were from the meds or something deeper.

Without them, basic tasks became huge again… clutter, cleaning, food, even driving felt like mountains.

And parenting? I’d hit my medication crash right when I picked the kids up. I couldn’t focus. Too many voices, too much noise, too much everything.

Add to that: two of my kids showing ADHD traits, and me seeing myself in them so clearly. But the system doesn’t always see what we do, especially when your child is “quiet” or “sensitive.”

I’m currently in a five-year battle with the school and local authorities. It’s exhausting, and I’ll write more about that soon (spoiler: bring snacks).

️ What I Want Other Mums to Know

If you’re reading this and thinking “This sounds like me…”, I want to ask you:
Why are you holding back from getting a diagnosis?

Maybe you don’t want the label. Maybe you don’t think it’ll change anything. But think back, what were you labelled as a kid?

I was called dramatic. Dumb. A show-off. A flirt. A liar. And when the world gave me those labels, I started using them on myself.

ADHD gave me context, language, and acceptance.
It let me parent with more compassion. It let me meet my kids where they are.
And most of all, it reminded me…. I’m not lazy. I’m overwhelmed. And that’s a big difference.

My ADHD Vision for the Future

I see a future where I achieve everything I want.
Where ADHD isn’t whispered about but spoken loudly.
Where neurodivergent women are taken seriously in medical rooms, classrooms, and boardrooms.

I want to advocate for mothers and women navigating ADHD.
To create space. To share knowledge. To be part of normalising neurodiversity.

Because the truth is:

It takes a village to raise a child. But for ADHD mums?
It takes a village of ADHDers to feel like we belong.