ADHD and clutter. Two things that feel like they live hand-in-hand…especially when you’re a parent.
For me, it’s not just about mess. It’s not laziness. It’s dopamine, it’s survival, and honestly… It’s hope. We see something, and we think maybe this is the thing. The tool that finally helps us stay on top of cleaning. It finally makes the kids’ rooms manageable. Or it makes us feel like the parent we’re trying so hard to be.
But when that thing turns out not to be magic, it joins the doom pile. And the shame follows close behind.
The Emotional Weight of Stuff
Visual clutter becomes mental clutter. When there’s too much to look at, I can’t think straight. My brain spins. There’s guilt over the money I spent. Over the things I thought would fix me. There’s guilt over the craft supplies I might use one day. (chronic crafter here 🙋♀, Want to learn more, check my blog here ). Decision fatigue is real. should I keep this? Sell it? Store it? Will I regret it?
Especially when money is tight, ADHD brains hoard with a purpose. They think: “If I let this go, I’m wasting money.” But the truth is, keeping it is costing space, time, and peace. Those are things we can’t afford to lose either.
The Family Factor
We’re a family of six in a three-bed bungalow. That means everything is tight, space, storage, and patience. All the kids’ clothes are in our bedroom. Their rooms are clearer, (well, less clothes on the floor), but we carry the clutter burden for everyone. And with sensory needs, teddies become sacred. You don’t just “declutter” a comfort object. So sometimes it’s not even about stuff.… it’s about emotional safety.
Crafting is my joy and my chaos. It’s creative release, but it’s also bags of yarn, boxes of beads, glue guns, and fabric I “need.” That makes it one of the hardest things to let go of.
There’s No “After” Picture
Decluttering isn’t a one-time win. It’s not a project you complete and tick off. Especially with ADHD, it’s a habit you build, slowly, imperfectly, and over time. Clutter will always come back. Check out the summer throughout I have accumulated.
You will always bring new things in. That doesn’t make you a failure… It makes you human.
And for us, it means accepting that some level of visual chaos will always be there.
What Helped Me
- Realising that my clutter makes more sense to me than someone else’s. I can leave a whole sofa buried in stuff. Still, I get annoyed if my kids leave a sock on the floor. The double standard is real…. And I’m working on that with kindness.
- Letting go of money guilt. That money is gone. What I can gain now is space. And honestly? That’s worth more.
- Understanding my organising style. The Clutterbug quiz helped me figure out why some methods never worked for me. Turns out, I’m not broken…. I just needed to approach things differently.
- Being kind to myself. Always. Because I’m trying, and trying matters.
To Any Mum Reading This…
You’re not alone. You’re not lazy. You’re not messy because you don’t care, you care so much it hurts. You are navigating parenting, neurodivergence, sensory needs, limited space, and a brain that runs at 100mph.
Be gentle with yourself. The house will never be perfect, but neither will anyone else’s, no matter how curated their Instagram feed is. And remember: clutter is not a character flaw. It’s a symptom. And it can be managed, slowly, one imperfect step at a time.
If this post resonated with you, why not subscribe to the blog? I will be uploading lots. This is not a self-help blog. Join me on my never-ending journey to make living with ADHD work for me. Hopefully, it will help you too! If you have any ideas that can help me with this decluttering journey, please share them in the comments below. I would love to hear them.
The Messy Mum Virtual Assistant 