Let’s just start with this, I’ve never really felt comfortable in my body. I know I’m not alone in that. It’s something that so many women and men experience. We often don’t talk about it. But for me, the struggle with body image has always been tangled up with something else, ADHD.
Growing up, I was on the smaller side, but never the “cute, tiny” one. Just small, floating somewhere in the middle, unsure of how I was supposed to feel about myself. As a teen, I was a late bloomer. This meant I was constantly comparing myself to everyone else. I never quite felt like I fit into the trends or the “right” clothes.
In my early adult years, I tried to “enhance” my body to match what I thought it should be. I used push-up bras and padding. I even considered surgery. I thought that if I just look more like “them,” I’d feel more like me. Spoiler, that’s not how it works.
Then I became pregnant… and for the first time, I actually felt good in my body. My tummy had a purpose. My breasts were growing (woohoo), and I had this sense of pride, like, yes, I’m making life! But by the end of pregnancy, the stretch marks came in hot, and suddenly I felt ugly again. My husband lovingly called them my tiger stripes, but I didn’t feel fierce. I felt like I’d lost the body I once knew and didn’t quite like, but at least understood.
ADHD and Body Trust, A Complicated Relationship
One thing I’ve learned is that ADHD really messes with your ability to trust your body. I’ve masked my entire life. I shifted between groups and mimicked others. I was never fully sure of what I actually liked or how I wanted to dress. I never really developed a personal style, I was just trying to fit in.
I also struggled (and still do) with recognising basic body signals like hunger and thirst. I’ve ended up in doctors’ offices more times than I can count. I just forgot to eat. Sometimes I went all day without peeing. I’d get into a hyperfocus state and not even realise days had passed without proper meals. And then the evenings would come, and my body would scream for fast, sugary, high-carb comfort.
Sensory issues didn’t help, textures made me avoid so many foods. My husband’s family slowly helped introduce new foods to me. Shoutout to my mother-in-law for blending veggies into everything . I’ve come a long way, but it’s still a process.
I also absorbed the body image anxieties of the women around me. I watched my mum yo-yo diet. I heard my friends obsess over weight. I wondered, if they feel that way about their bodies, should I feel that way too?
The Shift, Medication, Movement, and Mindset
Things started to change when I got medicated for ADHD. I won’t say it fixed everything, but it was like the volume in my brain finally turned down. I stopped spiraling in negative thoughts and started doing. I moved more, I cleaned more (seriously, have you ever looked up how much exercise cleaning actually is? It’s mad motivating), and I lived more in the now instead of stuck in my what-if loops.
Yes, the medication helped with impulsive eating. I can actually pause before reaching for that giant slab of birthday cake. But more importantly, I can see myself. Like, really see myself. And start to accept the body I was in, stretch marks, softness, and all.
Motherhood Made It Harder… and Softer
Motherhood threw me back into the storm. Social media, fashion trends, and no one left to “mask” to. I was struggling again. I was lost in a body I didn’t recognise. The world suddenly expected me to bounce back.
Lockdown gave me a glimmer of community, I found other mums online who shared the messy, real stuff. But once the world reopened, that honesty vanished. Everyone went back to filters and highlight reels. I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere again… until the meds helped me come back to myself.
I now talk openly to my kids about bodies. I remind them they’re beautiful and that healthy eating isn’t about restriction, it’s about care. We eat sweets, and we talk about balance. And I’m learning to do the same for myself.
For the ADHD Mums Who’s Struggling
I wish I had the magic answer, but I don’t. Medication helped me, but I know that’s not everyone’s path. What I do know is this,
✨ Talk to someone. Someone who won’t try to fix you or throw advice at you, but will just listen. Say it out loud, “I don’t want advice. I just need to let this out.” It can make such a difference.
🖊️ Journal it. Write down the thoughts swirling in your head. Ask me for journal prompts if you need a place to start, I promise it helps.
💬 Come talk to me. My inbox is open. I’d love to build a space for ADHD women and mums. It would be a place to talk about body image, identity, and everything in between. No shame, no fixing, just community.
You’re not broken. You’re not alone. You’re not the only one trying to figure out how to love the skin you’re in. This journey happens one overstimulated, sleep-deprived, beautiful moment at a time.
Let’s Talk About It.
If any part of this spoke to you, including the masking or the body image spirals, I want you to know you’re not alone. You are not the only one experiencing this. The struggle to feel at home in your skin is shared by many.
Come join the conversation in the comments or DM me.
Share this post with a fellow ADHD mama who needs to hear she’s not broken, just beautifully wired.
Or drop a comment if you’ve ever felt disconnected from your body, I see you.
Together, we can build a space where real talk lives. In this space, shame dies. We start embracing the imperfect bodies we’ve carried through chaos, children, and neurodivergence.
Let’s make this a community where being seen doesn’t feel scary, it feels like coming home.
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The Messy Mum Virtual Assistant 