Breast is Best OR Fed is Best?

hey all,

so today, I wanted to talk about breastfeeding, I have breastfed 2 children and bottle fed 2. And I can tell you now, I would not put down any mother who breastfeeds or any mother who bottle feeds.

My story

I bottle fed my first 2 children and this was not my plan, I always wanted to breastfeed my kids; I do not know why, maybe it was instinctive, but I wanted to, that is for sure!

After giving birth to Freya, I breastfed her, (I could not feel her because I was numb from the shoulders down from being in theatre) then Sam was told to go home and Freya and myself were left to fend for ourselves. I was in my own room on the transitional care ward because I needed a large blood transfusion. And Freya was laid at the end of my bed in her cot. She was crying, I couldn’t physically move. I called my bell, and it took them over an hour to come to me, I was a mess, they didn’t even apologise. When I started to get feeling in my legs, Freya and I were taken to the maternity ward, but from then on, she would not latch, and I was struggling. The feeding *not sure she was actually specialised * nurse came over and told me to give Freya a bottle, I had had a traumatic labour and my milk will be delayed if I get any at all.

I was sad that my journey was over, before it had even begun, but it was lovely that when I came home from the hospital, my amazing husband took the next 3-night shifts to help me recover. We were an amazing team. One made the bottles, while the other bounced Freya around to calm her. It just really worked for us.

Then Ellie came along, I really wanted to succeed with this journey, but it turned out this one would be cut short also. I could not get the latch correct, I attempted nipple shields, and changing positions, I asked the midwife for help, but they did not help. They just said the latch was correct, this was not the case, I know, because my nipple was practically in 5 pieces.

And the icing on the cake was that my poor Freya had fallen ill and all she wanted was her mummy, so we decided that a bottle would be better, ohh I forgot to mention I did express for both Freya and Ellie. But the expressed milk dried extremely quickly when I wasn’t feeding, this doesn’t happen to all, but it did me.

So along came Ava, and I was like a nervous wreck, I watched 50,000 YouTube videos and hoped I would be able to get it right this time. I think it helped that I had the birth of my choice (a water birth) with only gas and air, so I didn’t have the injection. And I got that golden hour, the first hour of her life was spent skin to skin and feeding for the whole time. I think it was more like 2 hours. She was latched well, and she was feeding. I didn’t have any pain so I know it was a good latch. I thought to myself I have got this; I know what I am doing.

When I got home, she did not want to feed, she was just sleepy, and I did not know what to do. I got so worried I called the hospital again. I was reassured that she fed for 2 hours after birth, and that she is likely to just be tired, that it is quite normal for them to not want to feed loads in the first 24 hours. This was news to me; I am not sure if this is correct, but it eased me and around 5am she woke for another feed. But…

I couldn’t get the latch right, I panicked, I was rigid, and when she did latch it was excruciating. I felt that I needed her to feed, so I just curled my toes and dealt with it, I couldn’t believe the pain. It had to get better, right? I was so determined to breastfeed, and I was not giving up. I called the midwife for some help, and guess what, she did the same as the midwife with Ellie. She told me the latch was fine and that it will just take time for my nipples to harden and to use the lansinhol cream. That cream is horrible to put on, when your nipples are sore, it’s like dragging a grazed knee across gravel. So, I just had to grin and bare the pain. I remember waking in pain and just asking Sam to hold me, to help me emotionally through the pain. He knew I was determined to succeed and never once suggested formula. I think this really helped me to push through. The health visitor offered to send her breastfeeding support over to givesome advice and I was happy to receive any help.

When the breastfeeding support turned up, she was around 18 years of age and did not have her own children, I know that is being very sceptical, but I believe that she could not understand what I was trying to explain because she had not experienced it. So, she could not help me. More days went on and I was close to giving up, when I saw a sign in the window of a shop. It stated latch on…. With this symbol…

So, I decided to reach out for some support, within hours I had contact from a lovely lady called Mandy, she asked me for my address and came over… Within minutes of her arriving she had already established our feeding issues; Ava had a posterior tongue tie and both Ava and I had thrush. Something I wasn’t aware, could of been an issue and Ava was baby number 3. Mandy also took the time to find positions I would be comfortable in, and explained the importance of skin to skin. She was so helpful.

I mean seriously she was like an angel sent to make things right, I can hands down say that if it were not for her, I would not be 2.5 years into my second breastfeeding journey or training in birth and beyond. That is for sure!

Do I think that breast is best? No. Do I think fed is best? Again, No. If you research both of these phrases, they have been created to hurt every group of mothers. What I do believe is that the decision should be one of the mothers and that shouldn’t be undermined, whatever a mother decides is best for her and her child should be enough. But what I do believe is that, the mother should be allowed to make a fully informed decision and that information should be only factual. No personal judgement should be involved.

When my first 2 breastfeeding journey’s failed, I felt like a failure and yes, I held strong to that feeling. But actually, I didn’t fail. I was failed. I was failed by the system with no adequate support in place and misinformation. And the reality is this will not be fixed overnight.

My thoughts.

My advice to any mother that wants to get help with breastfeeding, you have to help yourself. By getting informed and finding the support that is around your local area for feeding. If I can help send me a message. Find me on Instagram or Facebook and I would be more than happy to offer support and advice.

Items I think may be helpful.

These items are my personal opinion and may not be for everyone.

1. The Hakkaa.

This was a god send at the beginning of breastfeeding. I was able to attach this on the oppersite side I was feeding, and could collect around 3 oz. This ment that if I felt she wasn’t getting enough I had a backup stash.

2. Medela baby cup.

I found this helpful for collecting colostrum (the first milk). Hand expressing in the early days, was a lot more gentle.

3. Multi-Mam kompressen

If you get cracked or damaged nipples these are like heaven.

4. MooGoo Mudder Udder Balm

For every day nipple care, this is less painful then lansinhol, in my opinion, it just melted on in seconds and was safe to feed with.

None of these items are ads they are my personal opinion.